Just My Luck

The conceptualization of "luck" often times relates back to some other cosmic force that is just as convoluted and decidedly just as funky. Funky may not be the right word for it, but it leaves about the same effect on my tongue as the words "Your luck will turn around" leaves on my ears. Just an uneasy feeling of eye rolling and the inevitable dragging of the feet to the nearest form of stress relief.

Luck gets thrown around a lot with karma or time or even religion depending on who you talk to. People believe there's no such thing as luck. Others believe purely in it and rely solely on it. Personally, I think that there's gotta be something in it. Honestly, if you've got the luck like I do, especially in the department of relationships, you absolutely have to. But it is balanced out by the success I've had in school, which is counterbalanced yet again by my infernal circumstances in the vehicle department. I've lucked out a number of times though in areas like money, work, and friendship.

But really, does everything have to balance out that I maybe have one or two guys I find a year worth my time? And it's less that I'm picky and rather mature for my age, but more that while there may be diamonds in the rough in the area, their still far enough in the rough that no amount of polishing is going to get them to an acceptable level to where I'm not burdened by the relationship in some form or another.

I'd say that easily the hardest concept behind luck is that there's nothing you can do about it. I hate feeling helpless and it often results in a blinding rage that makes me want to run until the muscles in my legs have given everything they have and I simply collapse. If it happens like that, then I simply have no energy to try to change things and I can simply be carried away on the whims of the world. Sadly, that feeling never lasts for long and I'm back to looking for the needle in the gigantic haystack. (Honestly, I'd prefer that to what it really is, which is most likely vice versa. How's that for a Midwestern boy? I'd love to roll around in a haystack. I might even forget to look for the needle after a while.)

It's a new year, we're almost a twelveth of the way through it and I think I may have found something worth holding onto. Whether he's the piece of hay in my current needlestack or just a shiny gold needle, it's definitely nice to remember what it's like to be infatuated with someone.