I Put On My Old Winter Coat

I would like a new coat. Granted, it's rather useless in the sunny state of Florida, especially in Orlando. But there's something about coats that make me feel safe. Better than a pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, the video game you've been dying for, that impulse buy that you instinctively go for. With a coat, a jacket, a hoodie, a cardigan, you can hold yourself and for a second or maybe longer, however long you need, and the world is safer, smaller, warmer, and maybe, just maybe, as close to perfect as possible in that moment.

On the show that I tend to refer to whenever I'm upset or confused about life, Grey's Anatomy, Mary McDonnell played Dr. Virginia Dixon, a cardio surgeon with Asperger's Syndrome. When Dr. Miranda Bailey comes up with a creative solution to a girl who needs medication delivered to her constantly to keep her heart running healthily, Dr. Dixon freaks out for lack of a better phrase due to her inability to go beyond her science. She then runs into an office and grabs her exam coat and presses it around her. She states that the pressure suppresses the body's reaction and releases endorphins, making her calm down. Dr. Bailey, and Dr. Christina Yang then proceed to hold her until her shaking and panicking stops.

That's why a hug feels so good when you're having a bad day. But when it's 2 in the morning and you're halfway down your pint of Ben and Jerry's, try a jacket. I have one from an ex, it's a big brown cord jacket, too big for me, I couldn't wear it for a while. But now, it's there. For when I need it. But for now, I'm gonna get started on my ice cream.