The Gays are Fucking EVERYTHING Up

Recently, I've been exploring the concept of tradition in my time to myself. (Not that there's been much of it, but still.) Traditions have different meanings to every one of us, and by its very nature holds very little concrete substance in this facet. However, the abstract value is ingrained into everyone their entire life. And not just by their family, but in almost every level and layer of social interaction. I mean, who didn't sit around at Recess right after winter break listening to everyone's stories of what they ate, who got what presents for Christmas and when they got to open said presents?

So flash forward to your young adult or adult life. You're single, miserable, and friends with a lot of couples. Okay, maybe you're not, but I am. So talking with one couple, you make a joke about joining their relationship. A stunned silence followed by contemplative looks. This ultimately is followed up by logistical thoughts of what that would be like and half-joking statements of how weird it would be.

Okay, so that's alright. But let's take a look at gay culture and relationships and the human element for a tiny bit. *Disclaimer* If you know nothing, or don't wish to know anything about Male/Male sex or Male/Male/Male sex, I'd stop reading yesterday. *END Disclaimer*

So gays sexually come in somewhere on a spectrum. Think of a number line going from -5 to +5. Now replace those numbers with the labels bottom and top and instead of zero, you get versatile (or vers). Now ideally, you'd somehow find a partner who has a number that is the opposite of yours, or in my case, another zero. But emotions kinda fuck the logic of that up. I could find a guy who is perfectly in touch with me sexually (which will NEVER happen) but as long as I don't like him, it will never work out. So now what? Well, then let's look at the opposite. I fall in love with someone who's a total top. Like no "what what in the butt" at all. So I may be emotionally satisfied, but I will never be sexually fulfilled. So what do you tell him? "SHut the fuck up and take my dick?" No. But let's say that we both find someone who's a total bottom and we're equally physically and sexually attracted to that person and vice versa. What now?

This is an ideal and very simplified example. But tradition tells us that this relationship which works out perfectly is wrong. But if all people in a relationship are happy, why should there not be a third? The mormons weren't completely off their rockers. They kinda knew what they were doing. I think that me and a person I can think of almost instictively decided that we somehow were going to make our relationship work, and we had a friend who would come over for play every now and then when I needed a little something else in bed, no strings attached, I could feel that. But who knows how I'd feel down the line. Sex does weird ass things to our brain chemistry. It connects people in brand new ways, and creates things that bring scent, touch, and all of our other senses to new levels when we create that kind of physical connection.

So in the end, tradition has it's merits and even a couple roots in biology. But I think that if homosexuals want to prove that they aren't going to be stifled into the curse of heteronormativeness by force of society, they need to be able to accept the possibilities of three person relationships or having a third in to maintain a healthy and productive sex life. And in the end, how many marriages fall apart because the sex starts to suck? A lot. And the gays have got to prove that they can do marriage better than the breeders if they want to keep it.